I’m feeling wistful for a change lately. Not driving into the sunset, changing my name and living in a hut or anything, but I stare at friends on Insta and think…I gotta do something to shake this funk.

I have an idea in me for a tattoo but it is going to be expensive and the beginning of pool/ocean/sun/fun season really is the worst time to get one.

I need to start running again, or start a workout regime, or find a new triathlon to start training for. A goal to work towards.

I went to go buy new shoes the other day! Except they were out of my size and had to have them shipped in and I am almost positive that I will have talked myself out of it by the time they get here. The last time I bought shoes was over a year ago and my current flip flops are years and years old but I am not very good at spending money on myself even though it’s not like we are saving the money I don’t spend on myself. The money is still getting spent, its just going towards a vacuum cleaner or baby clothes.

This is the longest I have been at one job (3 years). This is the longest I have been in one house in years and years (1.5 years).

Sometimes growing up feels like walking in a cave. It started out as a cavernous expanse and the further I go, the more choices I make, the narrower the walkway gets. The closer together the walls get until they are pressing you from both sides and it’s impossible to go backwards but you can’t see whats ahead of you. I need to carve a new space. I need to climb up if going forward feels too hard.

I need to buy some fucking shoes.

 

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